Solidarity Confinement
Reflecting back on all the loneliness I’ve had for years, there are many lessons I’ve learned in life. One, you can work on dim lights without regard for your sunken eyes; two, you can stay home with music, a bag of chips and an idea in your head to write in your journal. And finally, you can learn a lot more from life’s little things by confining.
Maybe it doesn’t make sense to learn anything from loneliness, but take it from me, there are as many things in loneliness that you can learn as there in having friends or companions. It’s only in a matter of perspective that you can learn things in confining oneself. It is the matter of focus, a matter of tolerance that you can see the true realizations of life, by learning more of yourself.
Maybe the litle things don’t matter to you, but for me it had been a hard toil to make a jigsaw puzzle out of it. Each of the bits and pieces of lessons I learned everyday have made out the big, shining philosophies right now. It wasn’t easy, but creating a mark for yourself isn’t exactly a walk in the park either.
Realizing so much from the toil of being alone, I thought of it as a burden, but as I reflect back on my achievements, I guess being alone has its benefits after all. Not that I would comapre it to the sweet achievement of friendship, but loneliness made me the person I am now. Though one may say I didn’t make such a nice personality, I can say I’m proud of what I am and what I do.
I may not be the guy who is used on hanging out with friends at night out in the streets. I’m not the guy who plays guitars, sings songs with friends and laugh with them. I’m not the guy who is not used to hang out in cafes and such and talk about myself in front of people. I’m not the guy who can tolerate so much noise, nor I’m a guy who is not used on seeing immaturity. But hey, guess what? I’m proud of being like that. If you ask me, a nice, subtle conversation would be nice, especially at night, when everything is quiet, when the moon and the stars are at view, talking in serene peace.
Even so, I would like to have friends though. Loneliness can hit you hard if you are immersed on it too much. Take it from me again, it’s not exactly the best lot to hang around. Try friends, it’s a better option than to be lonely.
Too bad, that’s what I am. But for how long can i tolerate such loneliness? Will I be lonely forever, never to see the friends I truly want, or even the love I’m trying to find?
I don’t know. Only the big guy up there will dictate what will happen to my life…
Oh well, it’s easy to drift for now, to wait for a moment I’ll get out of this loneliness.
But for now, with "ligaya" playing in the speakers, a big pack of tortillos beside me, and a plot to save the world…well, it’s lonely heaven here.
Better hang on for a while.
