The real me
All this time, I’ve never shown my real self. Maybe because its so disgusting that I don’t want to show it. So pathetic someone would laugh. So stupid and unreasonable that someone would say "Bakit mo pa pinoproblema yan?" ("Why do you have to make it a problem?).
*sigh* That’s why I kept it all inside.
For someone to say to me all I thought of would be wrong. I want to cry so hard that I would screw my eyes out. Want to rant and rave about stupid friends and failed romances. Want to hug someone so tight and tell them not to let go for the next ten minutes. Want to be with someone who can hold my hand and say its going to be alright. Someone saying that I indulge to be possessive once in a while without pretentions. For someone to sincerely assure me that I’m not alone. For me to cook for someone and make them smile. To hold someone’s hands and tell them how I enjoy being with them. To receive a pat from a bestfriend. To argue to someone who can handle their words beautifully, poetically, saracastically, and amusingly. For someone who can say that all I thought of may be wrong, but say I’m only human…
There are so much I want to experience, yet I cannot. Something’s holding me back. Fear. Insecurity.
For someone who faced his first love’s death, to see another girl being raped before my very eyes…I’m such a coward.
I want to be brave. But I don’t know know where to start…
Oh, if there can be a hand extended…perhaps…
Never mind. I think I’m worthless anyway.
…Or can someone have that heart that can prove me utterly wrong?
